I have been dropping little confidence tips on the blog lately! Have you been keeping up? Somedays turning on my confidence is as easy as flipping a light switch, and other days it’s not that simple. Lately, a sure-fire way for me to feel an instant rush of confidence has been to sport lingerie around my apartment or get dressed up just for me. I have a couple of different looks that I reach for when I need a sexy confidence boost. Parfait Lingerie’s Adriana Unlined Babydoll in Black paired with the Adriana Bikini is one of my favorites to lounge around in because it’s comfortable, but still makes me feel like a vixen.

Where does your confidence come from?
You may be searching back to the early traces of fearlessness you felt as a child, or maybe a pivotal moment you recently had that encouraged you to accept and love yourself. Through the years of my journey through self-love, I’ve learned that the perception we have our bodies starts way before we are even brought into the world. Our mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers have paved a way for us and, most times, have directly influenced how we view ourselves. Growing up, my mom was always supportive of me and wanted nothing but the best for her daughter. My parents put me into sports, encouraged me to live a healthy life (even if that meant being the food police here and there), and gave me the best advice they could. As I became a young adult, and eventually, started a life of my own, I realized that my parent’s remarks about my body and how I should eat still rang loudly in my head, influencing my own perception of my body. When I noticed these voices, I became a little resentful toward my parents, as body image is something I struggle with on a daily basis. But what helped me overcome that resentment was recognizing that my parents were not only my parents, but that they were their own individuals with their own desires and perspectives. As a child, I had a front row seat to my mother’s journey of accepting her body. She was a mother of two with her own battles, dreams, and goals, and aside from the time she spent with us, she worked full time—and then some. I can’t imagine that it was easy raising me and my brother, let alone taking time to appreciate herself. I emulated my mom and the way she spoke about her body because I looked up to her. While I have outgrown that perception, I have tried to help her grow, too. We talk about our bodies a lot, and it’s not always an easy breezy walk in the park—there are still things we don’t understand or accept. But as a woman who has found love within herself and for her reflection, I try to model that to my mom to inspire her to embrace herself, too.

Do you have someone in your life who projects their own insecurities onto you? Or someone who would greatly benefit from seeing someone like them be confident? Maybe it’s you who needs someone to model confidence to them…and that’s okay. No matter where you are at on your confidence journey, start by looking to yourself as a person who embodies confidence and embraces change. It may sound like a difficult task, but I have created a guide and workbook to help you build confidence step by step, every day. You can download this free guide at BeYourOwnGoals.com. This guide will help you build a positive affirmations list that is completely customized to you and your journey. You will also get a look my very own list of affirmations that I recite to myself every day before I leave my apartment. These affirmations help me create and take charge of my own narrative, confidence, and emotions.

It’s important to remember that before we help others, we must help ourselves.

SIZING INFO:I am wearing a Size 42D in the Adriana Unlined Babydoll in Black, which is one cup size larger than my usual size, and the teddy fits pretty snug. I would suggest sizing up two band sizes and one cup size. I am wearing a 2x in the Adriana Bikini, which is my usual size, but the panties run a bit small. I would suggest sizing up one size.

Ever since I had to start wearing a bra, it seems like finding the perfect size and fit has been such a struggle. While bra shopping, I’ve always encountered these common problems: the cup size was too big, the band size was too small, and comfort was no where to be found. Keep in mind that I usually shopped for bras at stores like Khols or Target. However, when I officially crossed over into the plus size world, it was then that I noticed a few shops that actually make bras for curvaceous women, like me. So here are a few of the places that I know I count on finding practical, well-fitting, and sexy bras!

1. Knix
Get ready for extreme comfort with these underwire-free Knix bras. These bras are suitable for plus size women, as they mold and shape to your body, allowing you to breathe, stretch, and go about your daily activities comfortably. Because the bras are wire-free, they don’t rub or cause irritation, which is something that I experience with any other underwire bra. Aside from providing comfort, these bras also mitigate boob sweat, and they are versatile and compatible with any kind of blouse or top you wear. Wearing these bras essentially just feels like you are wearing a tank top or camisole—they are that comfortable! The brand carries cup sizes A through E.

2. Curvy Couture Intimates 
This is my go-to place for sexy bras. I love a simple bra that provides support, a little extra push up, and an enticing design. My favorite bra from this store is the Tulip Allover Lace Bra (As seen here: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL). The brand carries cup sizes B through H.

3. Torrid
Torrid was the first place where I found a bra that actually fit me comfortably. These bras are made exclusively for plus size women, so they provide just the right amount of support, push up, and comfort. Torrid also carries a variety of styles so that you can pick out the perfect undergarments for the blouse or occasion you’re going for. The brand carries cup sizes B through G.

4. Parfait Lingerie 
Parfait Lingerie (As seen here: FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME) is another brand I love to shop for sexy intimates and cute lingerie. While some of these other brands run pretty true to size, Parfait runs a little small, which is fine because they do carry a wide range of sizes. I always suggest sizing up one cup size and one or two band sizes when purchasing lingerie from Parfait. The brand carries cup sizes A through G.

“How do you appreciate yourself?” my therapist asked me. I thought of the many ways I have recently prioritized myself in an effort to improve the way I show my appreciation. Maybe it was the trip I took for my birthday, the spa day I booked, or the daily positive affirmations I tell myself. But instead of mentioning these things that instantly popped into my head. I put my hands on my thighs and traced them, reenacting the times I wake up and place my hand on a part of my body and think, “You are just so beautiful.” These moments are fleeting. Not because I dislike myself or think negatively very often, but because they are special and pass so quickly. These instances get lost in the constant feedback I get from social media or society. I cried as I began to tell my therapist why my hands were tracing my thighs. I could barely even get the words out, “There are these moments where I feel beautiful, and for a second, no one else’s opinion of me matters,” I eventually mumbled.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve gotten emotional when talking about or acknowledging my own beauty. As women, we are taught to dislike ourselves from a very young age. We are taught that we aren’t good enough and that we need enhancements to be our best (for example: Makeup, plastic surgery, etc.). We can’t possibly be good enough when we are at our most true, natural state. But I’m trying to break away from those ideals when it comes to my body.

One of the ways I have been showing my body some love and appreciation has been wearing lingerie around my apartment, just because. This not only gives me a huge confidence boost, but it makes me feel prioritized and special because I’m not dressing up for anyone, I’m dressing in these pieces for me. Currently, my favorite set of lingerie is the Sandrine Plunge Longline Bra and Brazilian Thong in French Blue from Parfait Lingerie. I’ve never owned a longline bra before, but I love how comfortable this one is. The way it contours my bust is super sexy, and I love the look it gives my body. And can we talk about this color? Sure, red and black are my go-to’s for super sexy lingerie, but this color gives this Sandrine set a delicate and beautiful vibe.

SIZING INFO: I am wearing a 42 D in the Sandrine Plunge Longline Bra, which is a cup size larger than my usual, but according to Parfait’s sizing chart, it is my actual size, and it’s a little tight, but still very comfortable. I would recommend sizing up one entire cup size and band size from your usual fit. I am wearing a 2x in the Sandrine Brazilian Thong, which is my usual size, and it fits perfectly.